Everybody's got something to hide—The Ateneo de Manila Secret Files: ChemicalBrother

"Posting here might be inappropriate since I am already an alumnus. Nonetheless, the lessons are very fitting for undergrad students.

Everything started with my thesis measuring the influence of recreational drugs like ecstasy and amphetamine on human motivations. Out of curiosity, I also tried them and I enjoyed the feelings. From my source, I met other users and explored other substances as well. New chemicals always brought me to new heavenly heights. During our sessions, we sometimes shared needles and engaged in unprotected sex with both men and women.

I was aware of long-term detrimental impacts of the drugs on my health and intellect. However, I was young and stubborn, so I ignored those possibilities. In fact, I was able to finish my masteral in mathematics with flying colors, and I also received a scholarship to study MBA in Singapore.

After my MBA, I came home to rest for a few months. Then, I went back to Singapore to pursue a corporate career. I applied in a corporation that sells the number one smartphone, pc's and tablets in the world. I went through the usual application processes of exams, interviews and simulated real life cases. I passed all of them and finally reached the last step - the medical test.


I failed! I turned out to be HIV+. 

In Singapore, foreign nationals cannot work in the country with this health condition. I felt like my whole world and bright future collapsed with infinite speed into a black hole. Not even a single light of hope was present to hold on to. Memories of adventurous lifestyle flashed back - drugs and unprotected sex - and I regretted every single moment of it.

Fortunately, according to the doctor whom I have consulted, my condition is not yet full blown. My immune system is still strong with around five years before it starts to deteriorate. All I have to do is to live a healthy lifestyle.

I know that there is still a bright future for me. In fact, I just got accepted as a project manager in an electronic company in Beijing. However, the thought haunts me that every time I take a step closer to my bright future, I am also getting closer to my death. It is a constant reminder that we are walking unto death, one of the readings in my Philosophy class. Nonetheless, it makes me a better person. Still, I wish I could be better person through another way."

- ChemicalBrother, SOSE, 20XX

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